RIP 30 Rock, or How Long Live 30 Rock

Shut up everyone, shut up Lutz! My favorite sitcom of all time ends tonight and I wanted to take a second and thank its creator:

Thank you Tina Fey...

For giving me two Black Swans,

For your obsession with Star Wars ("I don't think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram")

For making me want to go to there, 

For teaching me tuxedo etiquette ("It's after six Lemon, what am I a farmer?")

For Bijou ("Call us in English, German or Polish")

For giving Jane plenty to sing ("My muffin-top is all that")

For Sabor de Soledad ("Ahora con mas semen de toro!")

For life-long advice ("Never follow a hippie to a second location")

For Mickey Rourke jokes ("I'm going to have to break you down and build you back up, just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually")

For the alternate Liz Lemons (with or without Seinfeld money),

For MILF Island (and erection cove),

For Queen of Jordan ("Rude!"),

For Homonym ("Nope. It's the other one!")

For the Rural Juror ("Roar her gem her?")

For el Generalissimo ("You are... surprisingly gay")

For Kenneth's Sydney-Bristowing ("I'll use my sexuality as a weapon!")

For Joker Liz ("I AM sick, sick like a fox!")

For fat Jenna ("It's visual trickery!")

For "Hard to Watch, based on the book Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate"

For Abby Flynn ("I'm a very sexy baby!")

For Colleen Donaghy ("You give me ten minutes with the Lemon family and I'll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale")

For D'Fwan ("D'fwink responsibly")

For devilishly gay Devon Banks ("If there's one thing I learned from you Jack is keep your friends close... and your enemies so close, you're almost kissing")

For Dr Spaceman ("Erectile disfunction, is not just a dog problem anymore")

For Werewolf Bar Vitzvah ("Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves!")

For Jacks's romantic interests ("Who is number one on your speed dial?"/"I have hollow bones"/"You know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar!"/"I'll try. Wicked hard."/"'It' meaning 'business'"/"You will never see the crazy underwears I have on!")

For Lemon's romantic interests ("What you're too good for me now that I have pirate hands?"/"Hey dummy!"/"Can I get another salmon compadre?"/"Question about Lando Calrissian: is that an Armenian name?"/"Velocipede"/"Kimiko-san"/"I will WASTE you!")

... I could go on (I haven't even mentioned "Apollo Apollo", Greenzo, Shanice, Kaylee, Jeffrey Wienerslav, Argus, Prince Gerhart, Borpo, Jackie Jormp-Jormp, Verna, Angie, Jenna-Side.com, Frank's hats, Christmas Attack Zones, Reaganing, Lizbeanism, EGOTing, double-edge swords, female fight clubs, Sims Families that keep getting murdered, potentially harmful eye-rolls, robot-penises, shameful cookie jars, (meat) lovers (pizza), cheesy-blasters, night cheeses, slankets, Ludachristmas, Criss points, micro-naps, McFlurrrries, came-rahs, strides of pride, Sandwich days, Shark Weeks, Alfie & Abner, Dratch-as-Liz-Taylor, Anna Howard Shaw Day, paintings of horses, Kim Jong Il...)

But most of all, thank you for a wonderfully zany and cleverly irreverent sitcom that not only played to my pop culture loving personality ("You Solo-ed me!") but nurtured it ("Blerg" "What the what?!" "Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried today?" "This is not toward!" "HAM!" "Listen up fives, a ten is speaking!" "Nerdz!" "Charles-what-now?" "Me want food!").

Tonight, Fey & co. are shutting it down. We will be saying "Good Peacock!" and waving (like a human!) to the show. But it okay, don't be cry.

I will always treasure the laughs and the tears (from the laughs) Fey & co. offered me through these past seven seasons and nary a week will pass without me revisiting one of their crazy shenanigans. Here's hoping Jack, Liz, Tracy, Jenna and Kenneth go to sitcom heaven high fiving a million angels!

Lemon out!

TV in the 2000s, or How let's name ABND's Best Comedy Actress

Best Performances (TV Comedy) Part 2

Narrowing the performance/actor categories was HARD. But I went with two things:

1. Do I like the actor/actress?

2. Do I like the performance?

Okay, maybe that didn't help 'em narrow them down at all. But I do have a crazy math system in the back of my head. Just don't make me explain it to cause I'm sure it would blow you away with its awesome and accurateness.

Best Performance by an Actress (Comedy)

Lauren Graham - Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)

"How beautiful are we talking? Catherine Zeta-Jones or the weird looking Hilton sister?"

If there was ever a TV character that could convince me to have kids, it'd be Lauren Graham's Lorelai Gilmore. Here was a cool mom who (implausibly, maybe) had a great relationship with her teenage daughter built on pop culture, fast-paced dialogue and an almost obsessive will to eat. In the hands of Lauren Graham, Lorelai became for me the type of person I wanted to sound like: no one rambles and rants and raves and meanders better than Lorelai Sr and while her diatribes might have made for a flat, unrealistic character, Graham's warmth and likability (not to mention her hair!) made her endearing, flawed and relatable. I suffered through her relationships, her economic hardships and her family woes, but to me the moments where Graham shined was when she was at her comic best - rat-tat-tatting references from Paul Anka to Robert Downey Jr that few people other than Rory fully got.

Megan Mullally - Karen Walker (Will & Grace)

"I thought, finally. A man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut. And who can make that slut feel like a woman."

What can be said about Karen Walker (and Megan Mullally) that has not been said before? I mean, here is a gay icon for a generation: she's a powerful, drunk, pill-popping, bad-mouthed white rich woman with a great rack. What else have gay men ever needed? And while it might be the one-liners that everyone remembers ("I love Stan. Stan loves ham. Ham I am!") or the way she always put down Grace for her outfits ("Oh honey, I thought we had talked about that blouse..."), the reason Karen was such a strong character for me was because Mullally did such a good job of keeping her grounded. For every zinger she got, Mullally knocked a dramatic (or a musical, or a serious) scene out of the park (her episode where she's alone in a prison cell talking to a camera about Stan is brilliant on all these levels, for example). Karen, despite her offensive outlook on life (including poor worker benefits for her maid Rosario and a poor work ethic at Adler designs) remains a character that we like because of the vulnerability with which Mullally played her ???

Jennifer Aniston - Rachel Green (Friends)

"Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming."

Her character may be best known for her early season hairstyle, which took the world by storm, but Jen Aniston's breakout role of 'Rachel Green' is one of the funniest and most well-rounded female characters to grace television this past decade (and yes I know, that means only the latter part of Friends makes the cut, but I truly believe it is her work on Season 8 when she was pregnant that really showcased her comedic chops). Rachel may have started as a spoiled brat running away from a marriage that was bound for disaster (as the 'What If' episodes showed us) but the series saw her grow into a professional in the fashion world with a child and of course, an on and off relationship with Ross. Aniston's comedic timing was always perfect - whether she was being cranky over not having delivered Emma yet, or frustrated over her feelings for Joey (a storyline I never cared for). She made Rachel feel 'lived in' and while off-putting at times (I mean, every Friends character had their moments of "just stfu ok?") she made me laugh whenever she was onscreen, whether she was making a beef-infused Thanksgiving dessert, or hitting on her younger assistant, or having the 'we were on a break!' conversation with Ross, or - my favorite - bickering with her sister over who's more spoiled.

Kristen Wiig - Assorted characters (SNL)

"George Washington is my natural father. I'm on the dollar bill, too. That's my eye in the pyramid." (Penelope)

Suze Orman. Penelope. The Target Lady. Kathy-Lee. Gilly. Judy Grimes. These are just a couple of the uproariously hysterical characters Ms Wiig has been amassing during her past couple of years at SNL as MVP (this coming from someone who despises sports metaphors). She is the one person who, even when the skit is horrid (most of the ones this past season, for example) she'll make me smile and sometimes guffaw so much I spill my drink. Most of her staples are crazy people and to see Wiig let go - of her vanity, her composure, her body, is a feat in it of itself. Yet, for all the crazy shenanigans of her characters (Kathie-Lee's drinking, Gilly's violence, Grimes's nerves, Penelope's one-upping monologues) Wiig never feels like she's mugging for laughs (as most of her co-stars do from time to time ::coughAndySambergcough::). For making SNL a joy to watch (even in the non-Palin skits episodes) this past decade, I had to commend her with this inclusion.

Tina Fey - Liz Lemon (30 Rock)

"Hey nerds! Guess who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today?"

Tina Fey is a triple threat: she can write, she can act and she can make more sandwich-centered jokes than anyone else on television. Liz Lemon is probably a great character because it is based on Fey herself, but the exaggerations are so crazy (her Leia costume to get out of jury duty, her love for bull-semen enhanced snacks) that one can't simply say Fey is playing herself. Over the past four seasons, Fey has managed a good mixture of zaniness, physical comedy and a knack for churning out great catch-phrases ("I want to go to there" being everyone's favorite of course but "nards!" "What the what?" "by the hammer of Thor" are also classic). Lemon's helplessness and cluelessness of course wouldn't be anything if they were not paired with Baldwin's Jack. Here's one of the greatest comedic duos of the decade. Fey may have said that she felt like the hat rack to Baldwin's Astaire, but she has proven that she can dance right along, albeit in a way that gives Elaine's dance from Seinfeld a run for its money.

Runners up:

The Sex and the City girls (Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall & Kristin Davis) for making female archetypes the norm when deciding what kind of NYC gal you are (I'm a Carrie, if you must know). The Desperate Housewives gals (especially Marcia Cross and Felicity Huffman) for humanizing what would otherwise be walking cliches in a soap-tastic show whose camp is only matched (and sometimes upped by): Vanessa Williams's 'Whilemina' in Ugly Betty - whose one-liners and eyebrow-raising have been a staple of the (albeit flailing) show. And last (but not least) the other SNL MVP that now has a brand new comedy on NBC: Ms Amy Poehler whose Palin rap will rank amongst the greatest SNL moments in the history of the show and whose Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreations) is slowly becoming a character to watch.

30 Rock, or How Hi-Def is HARSH

Last night's 30 Rock might have given us the best sight gag since Kenneth/Jack/Tracy's view of the world.

Behold, the power of Hi-Def cameras:

Liz looks horrid.

Pete looks old (and shirtless?)

Kenneth looks like a muppet (!)

& of course Jack looks younger.

TV in the 2000s, or How let's name ABND's Best Comedy Actor

Best Performances (TV Comedy) Part 1

Narrowing the performance/actor categories was HARD. But I went with two things:

1. Do I like the actor/actress?

2. Do I like the performance?

Okay, maybe that didn't help 'em narrow them down at all. But I do have a crazy math system in the back of my head. Just don't make me explain it to cause I'm sure it would blow you away with its awesome and accurateness.

Best Performance by an Actor (Comedy)

Sean Hayes - Jack McFarland (Will & Grace)

"They say Jack is a wise man, Jack is a dangerous man, Jack is a great man, no. - Jack is just a man. A man who knows men who like men."

Sure, Will & Grace was about that eponymous dysfunctional gay man/straight woman couple but we all know the laughs belonged to Jack and (see below) Karen. Is 'Jack' the ultimate gay stereotype? I don't know, but if he straddles the line between stereotype and accurate depiction (Oh, the many 'Jack McFarlands' I've met!) it must have worked that this character never took itself too seriously. Emmy Winner Sean Hayes embodied this character to the extent that seeing him play a hick on 30 Rock jarred me in a good way. From 'Just Jack!' to 'Just Jack 2000!' to 'Student Nurse Jack' to OutTV executive who sing-ed his eyebrow (one of my favorite moments of the show in the season 8 premiere, and no he doesn't mean 'singed' he meant 'sang'), Jack was always an adorable gay man who for all his (alleged) gay sexual philandering, had his heart in the right place. Just be sure to not distract him with polysyllabic words or shiny objects.

Alec Baldwin - Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

"You go to that house and work it like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age."

Two-time Emmy winner Alec Baldwin is that rare thespian who turned a solid movie career (including an Oscar nomination) into a great comedic vehicle (okay, so maybe it's not so rare anymore now that the Sally Fields and the Glenn Closes of the world have their own TV show). To cast Baldwin against a rag-tag of crazy secondary characters on 30 Rock and to make Jack Donaghy as the political opposite of Baldwin himself makes for the greatest reasons why he shines so much in his role. He is at once playing an exaggerated foil of himself and playing it straight to an army of crazy though we all know how crazy a comic Baldwin can be (he has hosted SNL 14 times, only one short of the record held by upcoming co-Oscar host Steve Martin). From 'El Generalissimo' to his therapy sessions to Tracy, to his one-liners, to his incredible affairs with women as distinct as Phoebe (a feeble-boned Emily Mortimer), a crazy Bianca (Isabella Rossellinni), la viuda negra (Salma Hayek) and CC Cunningham (Edie Falco), Jack has a spot in the greatest 'bosses of comedy' Hall of Fame (suck it Michael Scott!).

Will Arnett - GOB (George Bluth) (Arrested Development) & Devon Banks (30 Rock)

"Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A protestacular!" (Bluth)

"Celebrity snuff. Reality content made exclusively for your mobile phone: Oh what's that? MC Lyte just murdered Danny Bonaduce? Thanks, PHONE!" (Banks)

Does anyone play odd-ball better than Emmy nominee Will Arnett (aka. Mr Amy Poehler)? He has given us two characters this decade that merit mention. The first (GOB Bluth in Arrested Development) showed an actor that could go wherever the writers took him (and they took him to very very wacky places - need we say more than "Franklin Delano Bluth"?) and whose physical chops for comedy (whether as a magician failing at an escape trying to help his father escape or attempting to hang himself with a belt) were always in service of the crazy world of the Bluth family.

With Devon Banks, Arnett created a character (some say based on Ben Silverman) who will go any length to get to the top of the GE chain of command and get back at Jack Donaghy (including hiding his sexuality, marrying a woman he doesn't even stand, attempt to clog Jack's arteries with beef and wine and charm the Obama girls). HIs Banks is sleazy and power-hungry but also hysterically overblown, especially when using his 'gruff voice' to intimidate employees or seduce Kenneth the page while wearing a tiny hotel robe.

Neil Patrick Harris - Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)

"Legen - wait for it... hope you're not lactose intolerant cause the second half of that word is -dairy!"

It's not just the catch-phrases ("Self-five! Phone-five! High five!" "Have you ... met Ted?") and it's not just the suits ("Suit up!") or about the seemingly aimless womanizing of a certain Barney Stinson. It's how effortlessly multiple Emmy nominee (and 2009 Emmy host!) Neil Patrick Harris marries Barney's nonchalant approach to women (let us remember he keeps cameras in his bedroom, the recent 'Playbook') and his high-dork factor (he does after all love laser-tag, owns a Star Wars stormtrooper and makes scrapbooks of the girls' he's slept with). Barney is a character that can romance a girl while wearing old-man makeup - he's as corny as he is awesome. Barney - for all its blatant heterosexuality might be the queerest member of this NYC group of friends (not because NPH is gay) but because he becomes the stand-in character in a marriage-plot driven sitcom for anti-marriage, anti-monogamy and anti-family. As a character, Barney is a foil to Ted's marriage-driven plot/life (which might explain why the greatest tension of the character was his coming to terms with what he felt for Robin including several spastic and schizo moments of 'I love her!' 'I want women still!' we saw and enjoyed last season and why their getting together felt at once earned and yet unsatisfactory).

Runners-up:

The Friends boys (Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer) for making come back to Central Perk every week be it for their awkward humour, their adorable idiocy or their love for paleontology. Erick McKormack (Will & Grace) for giving me a gay NYC neurotic as a role model so early on. Bret & Jemaine (Flight of the Conchords) for making Kiwis so folksy cool and writing 'Leggy Blonde' for to hum along on random mornings. And Ricky Gervais (Extras) for making awkward so funny and stellar.

30 Rock, or How it's aboot time!

Off to a slow start this a season (did they really have to spend so many episodes milking the 'Real America' jokes, funny as they were?) 30 Rock managed to crank out an episode that introduced the new guy (Jack/Danny Baker), saw Kenneth at his Emperor-worst, found Jenna and Tracy trying to solve problems and strengthened the (business) relationship between Jack and Liz. Basically: classic 30 Rock.

Things I loved about the episode:

dealbreaker. the books for you man no good by lesbian yellow-sour-fruit

Solvers. The Problem

Kenneth: Yes, embrace your anger.

Danny: WHAT? You know, of all the weirdos I have met around here you are the worst. With your creepy Don Knotts face. That ridiculous Hitler Youth haircut.

Kenneth: What about my chin?

Danny: What about your chin? I have seen bigger chins in premature babies!

And of course, Liz's sleeve on fire:

TV in the 2000s, or How let's name ABND's Best Comedy Series

Best of the 2000s Next Door

The decade is coming to a close and we all know what that means: TOP [insert arbitrary number here] LISTS! Not one to be left out of the bandwagon (cause, really, what better way is there to travel than in a bandwagon with random people?) I have decided to count down my favorite (read: best) things from this decade.You'll see posts counting down my favorite TV shows (Comedy/Drama) as well as my favorite films and performances (TV/Film) from the decade. These are totally biased choices based on what I watch (I'm not aiming for an objective perspective - not just because I don't watch EVERYTHING on TV but because this is my blog and I cater to no "masses" (so if you were hoping that comedies centered around an overweight male and his hot wife or films based on bromantic situations with crass humour... this ain't the place for you).

Best TV (Comedy)

I've always been a comedy guy. Dramas (as you'll see when I count them down) are not my forte at all. But comedies - situational or otherwise - are what I grew up on: The Nanny, Seinfeld, Gilligan's Island, Bewitched, Mad About You, I Dream of Jenie, etc. all helped raise me to be who I am today. Comedies are where I learned about New York City (even though they were filmed in Los Angeles), where I learned what a family was (even if they were ten times crazier than my own) and where I learned that friends will there whether you cast a black man in your show, say someone else's name at a wedding, bring the love of your life back from the dead, decide to become a nurse on a whim or decide to go Yale instead of Harvard. And so, I give you my Top 5 Comedies from the 2000s:

30 Rock

This one is for the books (and not just because of its Emmy-nomination record) but because its absurd hijinks, its rat-tat-tat dialogue full of witty one-liners ("Lemon, it's after six-o'clock; what am I a farmer?"/ "I want to go there") and its great ensemble (including Emmy winners Alec Baldwin & Tina Fey as well as Emmy nominees Jane Krakowski, Tracy Morgan and Jack McBrayer) would usually relegate this comedy to cult-status (see Arrested Development) but 30 Rock, while not cranking out NCIS ratings numbers, manages to hit the zeitgeist in a way no comedy in recent memory has. From its scathing social commentary on celebrities ("If there were no actors, how would people know who to vote for?") to its political satire of neocons and the bailout, 30 Rock has carved a niche for itself as a quotable water cooler comedy that can easily swing from the asurd ("Werewolf Bar Mitzvah") to the topical ("Greenzo" and Al Gore) without losing a beat.

Friends

Probably 'the' sitcom of the last 20 years (sorry Frasier fans, and Seinfeld fans, if you're curious I'd brand that Larry David produced show as 'the' greatest anti-sitcom sitcom of well...ever), Friends managed to turn a dull-like premise (6 Friends in NYC!) and turn into a wonderful jumping board from soap-like storylines (it wasn't surprising that vaguely half of its season finale hinged on either marriages, births or relationship issues) to hysterical twists on those same ones ('We were on a break!'). Through 10 years we fell for Rachel's hair, Phoebe's 'smelly cat,' Monica's OCD, Chandler's jokes, Ross's 'dinasours,' and Joey's endearing/irritating idiocy. Was it a bit white-washed and representing a wholly implausible NYC life on their salaries? Maybe, but who wants 'reality' in their sitcoms? Friends focused on relationships and the strongest one was the one created between its character and its audience and even while working formulaic sitcomy situations, this series is still a gem when you consider how much we really cared about whether Ross and Rachel would end up together (hint: they did).

Pushing Daisies

If there was one series in my lineup that I wished had lasted longer, it'd be Pushing Daisies. Bryan Fuller's tale of a piemaker who can wake the dead was a brilliant blend of humour, schmaltz, candy-colored visuals and gum-shew plotting. With an impressive cast featuring Swoozie Kurtz, Ellen Greene, Chi McBride, Anna Friel, Lee Pace and Emmy winner Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies created 22 episodes in 2 seasons that offered a world that was as cloying as it was funny, as heartwarming as it was slick. It was a bit Tim Burton-ish, a bit Roal Dahl-esque, and in a sense reminded me of the 'magical realism' that marked my childhood: characters don't freak out or overanalyse Ned's power, and that in itself makes for a very magical world where symmetry, bright colours and fairy-tales are evoked, invoked and reworked into the very fabric of the world. As Chuck says in the pilot: "I guess dying is as good an excuse as any to start living." And despite not living long, they truly all did live very well.

Will & Grace

Is it overly sitcom-y? Does it straddle the line between LGBT visibility and gay stereotypes? Maybe, but in a TV landscape that so rarely presents LGBT characters as central to a show, we have to remember how groundbreaking (as well as funny) this show was. Featuring one of the strongest ensemble casts in recent memory (Sean Hayes, Megan Mullally, Eric McCormack and Debra Messing deserve all the hardware they picked up - from Emmys, to SAG Awards to Golden Globes, etc. etc.) Will & Grace took a tried and true formula (a sitcom about roommates!) and spun it into hysterical look at gay life, straight life and everything in between. But in particular, we have to reward a show that gave us Karen Walker - a pill-popping, alcohol-swigging, money-squandering, retort-ready 'secretary.' This is truly a character for the ages with a number of one-liners that put to shame much of what's on TV right now. I'm sure if she could hear the things the likes of Charlie Sheen, Jay Mohr or even Leno, she'd say "By your inflection, I can tell that you think what you're saying is funny, but...no." Amen.

Gilmore Girls

I remember watching the first episode of Gilmore Girls on the WB the day it aired and I realised I had watched something incredible. When I watched the series finale, I found it hard to say goodbye to Lauren Graham's Lorelai and Alexis Bledel's Rory whom I had shared so much with (boyfriends, college, marriages, hospital visits, you name it). This unlikely (and some would say implausible) mother-daughter relationship, grounded in an obsessive consumption and relentless re-quotation of popular culture ("You lost me at carrots, which was the first draft of 'you had me at hello'."), was everything I want in a 'family show' especially as every week it disavowed any schmaltz in favor of witty-one liners and the fastest-delivered dialogue in TV... ever. That Amy Sherman-Palladino surrounded her two protagonists with a wide array of amazing supporting characters (in particular Lorelai's mother Emily and all of Rory's suitors over the years, including a pre-Supernatural Jared Paladecki and a pre-Heroes Milo Ventimiglia) only served to heighten my desire to visit Stars Hollow every week.

Runners-up:

Sex & the City (for giving us Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha and a version of NYC we all wished existed!), How I Met Your Mother (for trying to resuscitate the sitcom through post-modern storytelling, in such a legen-waitforit-dary way!), Arrested Development (for making us feel a little bit saner by watching the crazy antics of the Bluth family), Desperate Housewives (for a first season which is almost flawless in its blend of intrigue, soap-opera-plotting, master comedic acting and sparkling dialogue), Flight of the Conchords (because Bret and Jemaine make for a odd Kiwi couple pairing whose hysterics are only matched by their crazy folk songs).