No blinking, or How Nicole submits herself for processing

This is in response to Nat's The Master Blu-Ray/DVD giveaway contest. Some would say I'm pandering, but this is literally the first thing that came up when I decided to submit something.

The rules?

To enter the contest you must submit yourself to processing.

I'm clearly taking a page out of Nat's suggestions that we can do so in character.

Are you thoughtless in your remarks?

NO. Biting and truthful maybe. Never thoughtless.

Do you linger at bus stations for pleasure?

NO. I prefer train stations. They help me pass the hours.

Do your muscles spasm for no reason?

NO. I need some good verbal foreplay for that.

Do your past failures in life bother you?

NO. They make me stronger and more adventurous.

Is your behavior erratic?

YES. I can go from being a wilting flower, to being bright and bubbly or a smoldering temptress in seconds!

Do you find interest in other people?

YES. I love knowing what haunts their thoughts.

Are you scientific in your thoughts?

YES. But only when it comes to matters of national security.

Do you often think about how inconsequential you are?

NO. I'm on TV, and thus worthwhile.

Do you believe that God will save you from your own ridiculousness?

NO. I hope not! ::wrinkles nose::

Have you ever had intercourse with someone inside your family?

NO... that's not to say I haven't skirted with sexual taboos.

Have you killed anyone?

YES. But only to protect them.

If you were locked in a room for the rest of your life who would be there with you?

Keith.

All the world's a stage for suffering women, or How I'm seeing double

A couple of weeks ago I treated myself to what has to be the weirdest double feature I could have concocted: Lars von Trier's Dogville and Joe Wright's Anna Karenina. Wright's social-politics-as-balletic-performances take on Tolstoy's novel is obviously in a different realm from von Trier's claustrophobic and caustic exploration of American values. Wright's film struck a note with me (as it is, a Wright film may top my Top 10 for two years in a row) while von Trier's is a (deservedly) harder sit, though the strength of both casts really helps sell the high-concept nature of both films.

At the center of both films though, is a woman in the middle of a stage (at times figural, in both cases literal) seeing her own life slip away from herself to the eyes of those around her. While von Trier keeps his theater-playing space to a bare minimum, Wright really amps up the "world's a stage" conceit and relishes the theatricality that said metaphor provides him. Yet in both cases, these choices serve to not only bring Kidman's Grace and Knightley's Anna center stage as it were, but to draw attention to the very thing that makes theater so distinct to cinema: the presence of the performer's body.

Grace's body -- subject to all kinds of torture and mistreatment -- is further underlined by von Trier's decision to create a Brechtian play-space to stand-in and for Dogville the town. The body on stage, unencumbered by the trappings of movie sets (or walls even), is here at the mercy of everyone's eyes  not least our own. Grace quite quickly becomes merely a body to be moved and fucked around. The immediacy of the minimalist staging makes the whole thing that much more unbearable not to mention universal even in its specificity. Here, the stage-as-parable framework depends on it being definitely tied to the very immediacy and urgency of the bodies of the residents of Dogville.

Wright's film tends instead to highlight Anna's very immediacy in a different way. For a character that so pines when being distanced from her lover, Anna's presence on a stage serves to not only highlight the fish-bowl milieu of 19th century Russian society, but to underscore the way she finds her love for Vronsky to be what anchors her in her own body. The theatricality and production design amp up the performative nature of all social roles but Wright's theater forces us to see Anna as a body up for the taking; her love of Vronsky is visceral, immediate and -- spoiler alert -- suicidal. Without it she is nothing. It is not surprising that in a key scene toward the end, her costume presents her as a rigid structure lay bare with no dress to cover herself.

I don't think it's a surprise that in both cases the character at the heart of the "staged" film is a woman; after all, we've been indoctrinated to think of women being tied to their bodies in ways that men aren't (or so go the gender-restricting roles that grant women physicality while men take abstraction). What's interesting is that in both cases the conceit works to bring out larger questions about how women are at once role-players but also perpetually offered up to a viewing public which circumscribes (and judges) their actions. Needless to say, von Trier is no Tolstoy so his Grace does not quite end up on the tracks, but rather manages to avenge her own mistreatment once she's dropped her victim(ized) performance.

The Hours, or How casting NOT-against type

You have John C. playing a dull but loving husband:

Jeff playing a self-involved academic:

Toni playing a cake baking housewife:

Claire is playing a free-spirit teenager:

Ed is playing a tortured artist:

Meryl playing a menopausal wreck:

Julianne playing an unsatisfied housewife:

Alison playing a supportive second 'wife':

Now, Nicole seems to be the one playing against type.. is that why Oscar bit?

9 from Nine, or How in a very unusual way I think I'm in love with this trailer...

Rob Marshall's Nine - if nothing else - looks gorgeous. Also: it's an actressexual's wet dream with Nicole, Marion, Kate, Dame Judi, Sophia, & Penelope taking center stage around Mr Day-Lewis. 

And so, here are 9 still frames/thoughts from Nine's trailer:

9. Nicole giving Daniel a smooch. Just the fact that Nicole is doing her first musical role since the whirlwind that was/is Moulin Rouge gets me excited regardless. To see her all glammed up and working her ice-cool sexy demeanor, just makes me quiver with anticipation with what 'Unusual Way' will look/sound like.

8. Judi and the 'Folies Bergeres' = it's like Mrs Henderson is presenting all over again.

7. Marion playing sexy. Is it just me or what could have been one of those forgettable Oscar biopic choices turning out to be the start of a great career for Ms Cotillard, who not only has Nine coming out but also Public Enemies with Johnny and Christian? Seeing her act without makeup and the thrust of Piaf's tragic story will be refreshing (I hope).

6. Kate as a 90s blond pop star? I mean, that is what this frame suggests n'est-ce pas? As long as this reignites her non-romcom career, I'll take whatever I can get.

5. I have been scarred... why is it that I expect Sophia to yell "Roberto!!!" and wave an envelope every time I see her? But here she's all regal and better-than-thou (which, you know she is) so I think I'm safe from Benigni's blabbering speeches.

4. Fergie as Saraghina. What Marshall, Ms BEP, a host of dancers and sand (!) can do on screen makes me feel like 'Be Italian' might be this film's 'Cell Block Tango.' And that is always a good thing to be aspiring to be.

3. Penelope being sexy. Her Carla is already miles away (physically) from Jane Krakowski's TONY Award winning portrayal so I'm hoping Cruz's smouldering number will be able to work free from any comparison to Ms Krakowski's memorable sheet-ful number and well... if anyone can do that it's Penelope cause she doesn't just have talent, she has gee-nee-uss!

2. Daniel Day-Lewis. I can't be the only one anticipating Day-Lewis' first role since his Oscar-winning Daniel Plainview and his first-ever singing role. Gladly, the trailer shows him at ease (and smiling!) so I am timidly waiting to see the followup trailer to hear him.

1. The techs! The cinematography (those Felliniesque black and white shots of the boys at the beach!), the lighting (that entrance!), the costumes (Penelope's corset! Nicole's coat! Kate's ensemble!), the hair (Marion's bun!  Judi's bob!), the makeup (Penelope's eyes! Sophia's face!) not to mention what are bound to be top notch editing, sound mixing, sound editing... make me drool. 

Needless to say: I'm excited. And The New Broadway Cast Recording has been playing on loop on my iTunes all week.

Kate Holmes Next? or How Tom Cruise's Exes Strike Oscar Gold

So I was flipping channels and I ended up catching Vanilla Sky on Bravo, which just reminded me of the following piece of trivia:

Is Katie next?

Australia Stamps, or How where the hell is Kylie?

[source]

Or was this an Academy Award Winners Only Postage Club?

Needless to say, this is fine as long as someone informs me Ms Minogue has already been immortalized down under in some postal form.

PS. Why does Ms Kidman look so old in her pic? That hair is doing nothing for her. Even Geoffrey looks better (gladly her Satine pic is dazzling).

PS2. Can we please invite Mr Crowe back into the A-list and avoid shutting him out of all movie awardage ceremonies? Sure, he's a firecracker, but - and not to quote Britney - he makes it hot!

PS3. Is it just me or are the Elizabeth pic and the Blanchett pic showcasing the same facial expression?

Australia, or How only Baz could make a film like this

Australia

Directed by Baz Luhrmann 

Written by Baz Luhrmann, Stuart Beattie, Ronald Hardwood & Richard Flannagan

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Brandon Walters, David Wenham & David Gulpilil

How do you follow a threequel of sorts (Strickly Ballroom, william shakespeare's romeo+juliet and Moulin Rouge!) with a film so confident/ambitious you've named it after an entire country? Well, if you're Baz Luhrmann what you do is explode the 'epic movie', add a pinch of the theatricality that marked your earlier work, stylize it to extremes, enlist a great tech team, a couple of gifted Aussie thesps (and an unknown!) and you head to the outback to shoot Australia. Is the result an accomplished success like his 2001 Oscar-nominated musical wonder? Not particularly; but you have to give Baz & co. props for aiming so high with a project as expansive and unconquerable as the land it tries to portray.

What works:

- Nicole as Lady Sarah Ashley. To those who say that Ms Kidman has no range and little facial mobility I dare you watch her scene with Nullah as she explains the plot of The Wizard of Oz and not be moved (Kidman attempting to sing 'Over the Rainbow' is probably one of my favourite scenes in cinema this year)

- Hugh as the Drover. Need we say more?

- The cinematography. So gorgeous. It almost... almost made me think again about packing everything and going walkabout. But then, Y: The Last Man memories kicked in and well... we all know how that ended, right?

- Brandon Walters. Such a natural thesp... or maybe such a thesp because he's a natural.

- The costumes. Need I say that Kidman's dress is this year's green-library Keira gown for me? (Though Kate's Revolutionary Road's yellow city dress might tie for it)

What almost works

- The CGI backgrounds. Too painterly to be taken seriously and too realistic-looking to be taken George-Lucas-ey. 

- The length. A clip here and a clip there... though where? I still wonder.

There's plenty more to say about this film, but I think I need a couple of more views to be able to critically assess it. For now, let's just say it's a film I would recommend to anyone who loves film-making and who relishes the grandiose nature of The Baz. B+

The 20 Actresses Meme, or How my name is mB and I'm an Actressexual

This started over at The Film Experience, but I was tagged by JA over at My New Plaid Pants and it's already cropped up in a couple of other blogs I read, so here we go. 

My favourite actresses of all time:

(Clockwise) Felicity, Penelope, Natalie, Maggie, Emily, Amy, Tina, Bette, Lisa, Nicole, Judi, Alyson, Vivien, Mary, Kristin, Salma, Julia, Kate, Meryl and SMG

And now I need to tag some people:

POP COLONY

Rants of a Diva

Tapeworthy

Vintage SNL, or How Enjoy!

Oh hulu.com you'll be the death of me. Browsing through the SNL files of old I found these gems:

1. Babara's surprise appearance on 'Coffee Talk.' Yes you have Madonna, Roseanne AND Barbara in one frame, I'm verlempt!

2. The days of yore when Nicole did comedy.

3. A young Alec! At The GAP! (And it also reminds me that I'm glad SNL has more female comediennes)

4. Catherine before she went into Cinema Siberia otherwise known as Death Defying Acts (anyone seen that?) and No Reservations: