With the upcoming "Smurfs" trilogy (anyone else wondering how dated they'll come out?) I figured I should look back on my childhood...
[This one goes to a certain someone who kept me wondering about this show enough to make a post about it]
Top Ten Things I Learnt by watching The Smurfs:
1. Communism works. (What, like you never wondered about the socialist tendencies of a group of self-sufficient blue men who follow a red-hatted leader?)
2. All you really need are men. (I mean women have their place... I'll get back to you once I figure out what was Smurfette's role...)
3. Glasses = Clever. (Back me up here Brainy Smurf!)
4. I was already vain, but I learnt it was okay to be vain. (Can I carry around a mirror with me wherever I go? Sigh...)
5. In a utopic blue-people world (which one can't help but read allegorically, 'duh!) specialization is paramount to communal living. (If I were a smurf, I'd probably carry around a book... or a DVD... or a comic book... or a mirror... damn! Harder than I thought!)
6. Women were innately created evil (and apparently awful looking too) - Don't believe me?
6a. Blond > Black hair.
6b. Seduction is required of successfully adaptable females.
7. Any gobbledigook word I use-ify for white condimentary smurf/ahem/salt can become a cultural Belgian staple. (What you didn't know that's how the schtroumpf's began?)
8. Old people can be useful (I wanna see any contemporary shows teaching that one to kids these days!)
9. Again: Black is connotative of Evil. As are ugly tall(er) people. (And no it doesn't stop me from wearing black jackets, but I do stay away from people who look like Gargamel)
10. Cats are evil, while dogs are cool. (And yeah, I went there)
Check out past "Everything I Know..."
Pixar Edition
Lilo & Sticth
[This one goes to a certain someone who kept me wondering about this show enough to make a post about it]
Top Ten Things I Learnt by watching The Smurfs:
1. Communism works. (What, like you never wondered about the socialist tendencies of a group of self-sufficient blue men who follow a red-hatted leader?)
2. All you really need are men. (I mean women have their place... I'll get back to you once I figure out what was Smurfette's role...)
3. Glasses = Clever. (Back me up here Brainy Smurf!)
4. I was already vain, but I learnt it was okay to be vain. (Can I carry around a mirror with me wherever I go? Sigh...)
5. In a utopic blue-people world (which one can't help but read allegorically, 'duh!) specialization is paramount to communal living. (If I were a smurf, I'd probably carry around a book... or a DVD... or a comic book... or a mirror... damn! Harder than I thought!)
6. Women were innately created evil (and apparently awful looking too) - Don't believe me?6a. Blond > Black hair.
6b. Seduction is required of successfully adaptable females.
7. Any gobbledigook word I use-ify for white condimentary smurf/ahem/salt can become a cultural Belgian staple. (What you didn't know that's how the schtroumpf's began?)
8. Old people can be useful (I wanna see any contemporary shows teaching that one to kids these days!)
9. Again: Black is connotative of Evil. As are ugly tall(er) people. (And no it doesn't stop me from wearing black jackets, but I do stay away from people who look like Gargamel)
10. Cats are evil, while dogs are cool. (And yeah, I went there)
Check out past "Everything I Know..."
Pixar Edition
Lilo & Sticth
No comments:
Post a Comment