Circus, Circus or How I'm Seeing Double

Seeing Double - Circus Edition:

"There's only two types of people in the world: 

The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe" sings Britney in the title track of Circus (coming out today!)

"There are two kinds of people in ze world: the ones that take the risks and make you feel something besides the dull thumping of your own heart and those that pay to watch." says Pierre in Pushing Daisies' earlier episode of the season Circus, Circus.

Britney Spears' Circus or How it's more like a pet zoo...

Seeing how Blackout was a brilliant album plagued by Brit-Brit's crazy times I expected Circus (with her in top form) to be Ms Spears' magna opus and 'Womanizer' almost tricked me into believing this. Sadly this ain't no Blackout and it sounds oddly subdued; where are the 'get up and dance sexily with me' tracks, I ask? Where?

Circus (2008)

1. Womanizer - The jewel in this unsteady and home-bejeweled music crown. It's sexy, fun, danceable, and endlessly loopable.

2. Circus - Actually one of my favorite tracks. This title track mixes good lyrics ("I am ringleader! I call the shots!") and a good beat. Not an all-out club track but a good pre-drinking song which, if [ed note: WHEN] released and paired with a hot video might catch on.

3. Out From Under - A typical Brit-ballad (think Someday I'll Understand...) it feels oddly vintage and 90s-ish.

4. Kill the Lights - 'Pop princess now Queen of Pop' - I'm sorry did Madonna die and not tell us? Regardless of Danja's intro, this song is this album's Piece of Me: Brit vs the paparazzi surrounded by a good arrangement and angry lyrics.

5. Shattered Glass - One of the highlights of the album. There's a sort of throwback feeling to this song (like it could have been in Britney or Oops I Did it Again) but it nonetheless feels fresh (must be re electro-feel it has)

6. If U Seek Amy - First of all, who is Amy? Is this a Kevin Smith reference? It's a 'fun' track which sounds more like a P!nk song than a Britney song.

7. Unusual You - One of Britney's breathy tracks (think Breathe on Me only less dancey and more loungey)

8. Blur - A snooze of a song, a slow track whose monotony is only surpassed by it's repetitive and inane lyrics.

9. Mmm Papi - I'm sure I hate this song on it's title alone, but seriously: Mmm Papi? Barf.

10. Mannequin - The most Blackout song of them all. And yes, that's a compliment. Now if only I knew what Britney means when she says that 'Love is like a mannequin'...

11. Lace and Leather - With such a provocative title you'd think this would be a racier song that would make you want to flaunt your lace and leather. Instead it's an almost-spoken funky song that prompts you to 'take a seat' cause it's Britney's show...

12. My Baby - "Tiny hands; yes that's you" - words that should NEVER start up a song, let alone a Britney song. I hate it when she gets maternal and balladey.

So, sure there are a couple of singles that make Circus worthwhile, but this ain't the comeback I was hoping for. Here's the Brit's next album!

Womanizer, Womanizer Brit-dolls, or How I'd collect them all

Britney Spears - "Womanizer" (Circus)

So by now everyone has hopefully seen Britney's new video "Womanizer" which debuted Friday night on 20/20 (weird, no? I recall the times of yore where Britney's vids would debut on MTV after a half hour of "Making the Video" but alas, times change):

• Britney Spears
• New Music

Never before while watching a music video have I thought to myself "There should be a line of dolls/action figures to go with this" (okay, maybe that's a lie - who wouldn't want a little Cowgirl "Don't Tell Me" Madonna or a Stripping "Rock DJ" Robbie Williams?) 

Which is why here I am giving you BRITNEY Dolls the Womanizer Collection:

- We have 'Naked Britney' - you might remember her from Toxic (sans diamonds attached to her body) or from a certain VMA performance (though her she's actually naked and not just wearing a skin-colored tight suit) - Ages 18 and up.

- We have 'Naughty Secretary Britney' (ie: Britney with a bob, glasses, short skirt and a deep neckline) - sorry, photocopier sold separately.

- We have 'Driver Britney' - sorry, car sold separately.

- 'Sultry Waitress Britney' (or what I like to call 'Toxic Britney' since the red wig always takes me there) - with printable tattoos you can add to her!

- 'Housewife/Womanizer Britney' (or what - with that background - could look like '4 Minutes' Britney) - make square eggs on your Womanizer stove just like Brit-Brit!

- And of course, additionally we have 'Smouldering Eye-Candy Womanizer' sold separately (and yes, it should be a companion to 'Naked Britney' - gratuitous pictures ahead):

Now all we have to do is collect 'em all!

Pop Music, Post Human, or How It's all Po-Mo Ho-Mo to me!

I know I joked about how Rihanna is the Post-Human version of Beyonce in an earlier post... but as some commentators mentioned, she's just the result of Pop Music. Which led me to ask:

Is Pop Music inherently Post-Human?

Janet needs feedback and goes all Haraway on us:


Britney breaks the ice invoking animation (my favourite brand of trans/post-humanism):

Madonna saves the world (because yes, Ecological and Environmental issues are post-human!):

And we could go back to the early '00s:

Vintage Pop Diva Po-Hu moment - Kylie comes (and clones) into your world (Gondry-style!):


Vintage Boy Band Po-Hu moment - BSB are larger than life (cyborgs anyone?):

Discuss.

HIMYM, or How DID we meet the Mother?!

How I Met Your Mother for Beginners (ie. for all those who tuned in for Brit-Brit and not for Ted)

Did you catch How I Met Your Mother last night?
Of course you did - if only to catch that paparazzi-magnet pop star, but even if you watched it for the schadenfreude (and it's okay if you only know that word from the Avenue Q soundtrack), wasn't it awesome?
Did you fall in love with Neil Patrick Harris and his magic?
Did you have to stare for a while and go "Is that that girl from the American Pie movies/Buffy only hotter and with better designer clothes?" and/or "Hey, it's the guy from that Sarah Marshall movie that's being advertised everywhere... including in every second commercial right now!"?

Blonde and Blonder

Sure everyone will be buzzing about that blonde guest-starring on How I Met You Mother [you gotta admit she did a good job, mostly because she got given great dialogue: "You look like a young Tom Selleck only a thousand times handsomer. Doctor, Magnum's here to see you. Pause. Sorry that was stupid..."], but I want to take the time to talk about that other blonde who made a (very welcome!) appearance on last night's episode. Where was the media frenzy over Elliot joining Ted and the gang?

The Mother?

I mean, is it me or is Sarah Chalke being set up as The Mother? The One we've been dying to meet? She did say the only party she had gone to in the past year was... (yes!) St Patrick's day! Do I think she's missing a yellow umbrella? I do. And if this is indeed true, casting couldn't be better - with Scrubs wrapping up, Chalke's addition to the HIMYM cast would be stroke of brilliance and would prove that the show's producers know exactly where they're going and who/how they need to keep the story going strong. True, I would have loved to see Elliot outside of her white coat, but hey, if the shoe fits, buy in it every colour, right?

Britney's Toy Soldier, or How This is an Animated Mash-up waiting to happen

Picking up on POP COLONY's suggestion that Michel Gondry needs to direct Brit's new video, I want to suggest that Brit herself has taken a step towards creating an animated mash-up if/when she releases Toy Soldier as a single. (I think Brit should really embrace animation - I mean, it's a way to avoid having to actually perform, look good or even show up: a manager's dream, n'est-ce pas?)

Can't you see it now?

Steven Spielberg presents

a Pixar Animations Studios production

Directed by Mr Gondry:

This time I need a Soldier
A really bad ass soldier
That know how to take, take care of me
I'm so damn glad that's over
This time I need a soldier
I'm sick of toy soldiers
A boy that knows how to take care of me
Won't be just coming over